About

Brian Lynch

Area man, lost in his apartment,

discovers a computer

Neighbors report deafening sounds from a squalid apartment, by Lucy Graham

November 4th, 2017 - After days of silence, a young man in Philadelphia, PA has only one thing to say to his neighbors: cover your ears.

Brian Lynch, a recent college graduate and lifelong musician, has lived in squalor in his small apartment in West Philly for over 2 years now. What started as an innocent foray into the wonders of audio manipulation has ballooned into what his neighbors are calling "The Sonic Apocalypse".

"It's seriously scaring my dogs," said Erika, who lives in the apartment directly below. "Those sounds that are coming from upstairs are not normal. I don't know what's going on up there, but it's definitely something."*

(continued on page 45)

* As it turns out, Erika was right; there was definitely something going on up there. But what exactly? I don't know. Nobody really knows. The more I try to learn about this strange character, the less I understand. Not that there's really any information out there anyway. The apartment is gone now, bought up by the university and turned into a luxurious swimming pool to lure in the new wide-eyed freshman. All that's left is the music and other strange media that has been left lying around on the metaphorical floor of the internet, stepped over and walked on like it wasn't even there. So what compels me to search for the source of these forgotten relics? Why am I looking at this old news article, that let's be real, I know, it doesn't even exist. What am I doing here? What are you doing here? Why are you reading this? Why am I writing this?

- Gabe Newell, August 7, 2055